Today was an emotionally taxing day. I left the school feeling drained this afternoon. During the day Pete had shared some of the reasons why kids end up at Epworth and most of it comes from family problems and it certainly showed in the way they acted.
I came close to a breaking point when a normally bad student asked for help on a worksheet. While this trivial request makes it hard to imagine a deep emotional response from myself I can assure you it did. This student normally refused to do any work, threatened kids, and argued constantly. After worksheets were handed out I felt someone tapping on my shoulder and it was him. His tough guy attitude was gone and he politely asked if I could help him. On the surface it seemed like a simple request but in my head I had a mix of thoughts and emotions. It is difficult to convey in writing how the question was asked. The tough guy attitude had left paving the way for an air of innocence in his voice. He was not asking for help so that I would do his homework for him. He truly wanted help. My mind raced with questions wondering if this was an experience that was rare at home. I wondered if anyone had helped him before he came to Epworth. Against everything that I have been taught at KU I answered the question for myself without any of the facts. I guessed that no, he had not been receiving any help from an adult figure in his life until he came into the classroom of Pete and Ms. Johnson. They are wonderful at their job and provide support to these students where others have failed. It is a sad realization to come too. I have never had to endure any experience in my life that each and every student in the class had to go through every day.
Throughout the day the students opened up to me and told me their situations. Most, if not all were down right depressing. Weeks ago during class we were told that we couldn’t change the world in one week. I know this to be true but I still found it frustrating that there was little I could do. Today was an important lesson for me, one that wasn’t easy.
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